Who do I blame?

Who do I blame?

I’m sorry you had a rough day, I feel somewhat responsible.” as I stared at my dad, unable to speak and barely able to breathe, “how is it I never thought of how my disease would affect my parents”.  My disease is genetic so my parents both carry a gene that gave it to me, but if I hadn’t been born to them I wouldn’t be who I am and I love who I am. As my father walked away all the things I should have said came rushing into my mind “I never blamed you. No matter how hard my life becomes because of this disease I will never blame you, the only thing you could have done to prevent this pain and hardship is to have ended my life before it began and a life with difficulties is better than no life at all. Thank you for my life!”

When I was twelve years old my mother become pregnant, at the time we knew something was wrong with my older sister (Sharon) and I, but we didn’t know what. There was a lot of worry that this baby would develop the same issues as Sharon and I, the doctors had been unable to figure out what was making us sick, giving us no idea how bad it was. Shortly after my mom told friends and family she we pregnant, Sharon and I were diagnosed with friedreich’s ataxia.The procedure to diagnose the baby with friedreich’s ataxia was dangerous, so my parents chose not to risk the baby’s life. On February twelve a perfectly healthy and beautiful baby girl named Sarah was born to our family. I always felt like she was my gift from God and having lost my own daughter many years later I feel blessed to have her.

Baby Sarah
Baby Sarah

7 Replies to “Who do I blame?”

  1. Alicia. Your introduction and first blog are both wonderful. I appreciate your honesty, and in the world of the written word, that translates to excellence. I believe your words, and moreover, what you have laid before the world as the secret of life — love and forgiveness. You addressed them both by showing us what it means to be alive and to be thankful for this grand stage we are a part of in this space in time. I can only hope you continue to explore and to write about not just what you feel is true, but to also include your ideas about what world needs to know and understand about those who struggle due to no fault of their own. And by the way, you never need to apologize for being new to the blog writing game. Your voice is authentic, and that is all that counts! Carry on! cs5711.

  2. I appreciate your real and unfiltered expressions. I can relate to not only your feelings, but also your parents. Despite all the differences, you have made a connection. Nice touch adding the link to Wikipedia for Friedrich’s ataxia, helps to increase my understanding with the information.

  3. I have never known a young person who is seriously physically disabled to the point of needing a wheelchair. Older people, yes. My mom was in a wheelchair in her final years. One of my brothers, two years younger, has been mentally disabled all his life and currently lives in a supervised group home, but that’s a very different type of disability. At the age of 65 he is still interested in the same Disney cartoons he was when he was five. I will be very interested to hear your story as the class progresses. CS5711.

  4. I’m really liking your blog so far, I think you’re very inspiring! It’s great that you don’t blame anyone, and you have a positive outlook about your situation, even though it can be rough. Keep sharing your stories! 🙂
    CS5711

  5. Your blog is inspirational in many ways! Showing the world that life is a matter of perspective and not predicament can only bring out the good in others. I appreciate your sincerity and hope you continue doing and being what you believe in! 🙂

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